In this week’s comic, I wanted a look at how my anxiety manifests on the surface for me, especially as I don’t tend to suffer from the same sort of outward panic attacks that seem to be the norm for those with anxiety on average. I never really understood these feelings were anxiety until recently, and through all my younger years I never wanted them to show outwardly for what it truly was, panic! As I felt it made me weak, so my expression of my anxiousness became much more overt and aggressive, I think to compensate.
I’d lose focus on anything else other what was causing my anxiety, I’d become more irritable, and short tempered. Slowly becoming more vocal about my irritation, I could lash out at those only trying to help. All this would mount in a completely different kind of “attack” that I want to explore in depth next week.
Now I simply want to make a progress note. With Fan Expo now passed, I mark another convention I didn’t have crippling anxiety attacks after the show. I had some smaller ones during the first night of the show, but nothing as usual. This despite there being some significant emotional ups and downs during the show that would normally trigger massive rethinking and panic.
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On Fire for Anxiety 7